the only way that I know how to feel
by perfect little dreams
Summary: You were the broken hearted addict that fell in love with the twisted girl. The one that use to be your best friend, your secret keeper, the one you’ll always love." For Dez. Happy Birthday!


**Hey there! **

**So, this little one-shot is dedicated to Dezzers or Dez, whichever you prefer. Thanks for being such an awesome friend! Your so lucky your finally 14! I have to wait till May 25:( And yes I accidently deleted this.**

**Reviews make my world go round and they make me happy!**

**Warning: References to crazy straws:D**

**the only way that I know how to feel**

You use to stand on a perfectly straight line, a path to a seemingly bright future. You hated people who ran along those twisted, curved unknown lines because they didn't know where they were going. Those were always the worst paths. At least that's what you thought.

But, then you met her; Massie Block. You first met her on the first day of school, sophomore year. You bumped into her, sending her books flying. She was beautiful. You stammered out an apology, and she laughed and told you she thought you were cute. The rest was history.

From then on your eyes always managed to fall on her, like she was the only person in the world. You always found yourself grinning like an idiot whenever she was around you. You'd find yourself waiting late at night, for her phone calls because she was _that _important to you.

Your friends told you that you needed to get a life, stop obsessing over Massie Block. They told you that it would all go down hill. You should have listened to them.

* * *

Her brown curls would always fall into her eyes whenever she laughed, you noticed it right away. Her amber eyes sparkled whenever she talked to you. You felt special whenever she talked to you because you knew she only really, truly opened up to you. Not Derrick Harrington or Todd Lyons.

She'd run her hands through you brown hair, telling you how cute she thought you were. You would always respond with a blush and a cheeky grin.

You'd stare into her eyes and when you finally manage to build up the courage you'd swipe a strand of hair out of her eyes. You thought, no you knew, she was beautiful and everything you ever wanted in a girl.

She would tease you relentlessly about the girls that fell for you, that loved you. She would tell you that she felt sympathy towards you because of the girls like Claire Lyons, who'd follow you around constantly. It was a little freaky, you would tell her. Sometimes you pretended to be annoyed with her constant teasing, but inside you had butterflies building up.

You loved that she paid so much attention to you and only you.

* * *

You'd stare out the window during biology, tapping your pencil in a perfect rhythm. Your mind was off in a faraway land. That same magical land that you dreamed of every night. Where you and Massie would live happily ever after, nobody there could stop you.

You weren't the only one that dreamed the impossible, she did too. After all she was a mess, a dreamer that everyone loved. She'd tell you about her twisted dreams, where she and Harris Fisher would lie on the beach hand in hand, fingers entwined and toes buried deep within the sand of reality.

You'd stare at her like she was crazy, especially to be in like with Harris Fisher. But, inside your heart would break for her because she could never have him and deep down inside you wish you were Harris Fisher.

And secretly you wanted her to dream of you.

* * *

She started to change in the beginning of junior year. Or at least that's what your friends said. You didn't believe them at first because she would always be the same girl to you.

She'd walk into class late, lip gloss smudged and hair a mess. You'd stare at her with a concerned frown and she'd give you a reassuring smile in return. But, behind those amber orbs you could see the guilt glistening. But, you let it go because you just had to believe her.

After a while this became a routine, a strange thing the seemed to bother you a lot. It was like she was purposely distancing herself from you, like she didn't want to have anything to do with you. But, you couldn't help but still love her.

You spent less and less time together. You use to spend time doing stupid childish things with her. Sitting outside her house, you'd take crazy straws between your lips and drink Coke, breaking out in random fits of laughter. It felt absolutely perfect.

* * *

You found her and Derrick Harrington in the hallway, when you where on your way to the bathroom. Her fingers were tangled in his mess of blonde hair and Massie was pressed against the lockers. They were breathing heavy and you wanted to gag.

Emotions were running through you, hot and angry. You stormed down the opposite hallway, hot tears dripping down your face and a broken heart in your chest. You tried to remind yourself that she was just an ordinary girl that didn't mean anything to you but, damn you were so wrong. She was so much more than that.

You thought that Massie Block held your heart, but you learned that day that it she just toyed with it.

Massie Block was like a drug to you. You were the broken hearted addict that fell in love with the twisted girl. The one that use to be your best friend, your secret keeper, the one you'll always love.

You, Josh Hotz, finally realized that Massie Block was not just an ordinary girl. She was a girl that sent you a curve ball, and broke your heart all at the same time.

But, no matter what you'll always have a piece of her in your heart.

* * *

**Yeah, so there it is my first Mosh one-shot. Yay!**

**I certainly hope it didn't suck. **

**Leave a review for, moi?**

**And HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEZZERS!!**

**-Kailerzz**


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